Why What the US is Doing with Ukraine and Russia Matters to Children

Just over three years ago, on March 6, 2022, The New York Times reported on a relatively small event in the 11-day-old war Russia had launched against Ukraine. The story told of a Russian attack that killed four Ukrainian civilians fleeing the war.

The victims were a mother, her 18-year-old son and 9-year-old daughter — and a volunteer from the Irpin Bible Church, Anatoly Berezhnyi, 26, who had raced to their side to try to shepherd them to safety. Of the attack, his pastor said, “I do not know how God can forgive such crimes.”

Here is the photograph. It is graphic, but if you can, please view it. It documents a crime against humanity.

I have never forgotten family in the photo. As reported in a very moving article and an interview with the photographer, the boy’s name was Mykyta Perebyinis. As the war began, he was sleeping during the day and staying up nights so that he could awaken his sister, Alisa, and mother if they needed to move due to shelling. His father was trapped in Eastern Ukraine, where he had gone to take care of his own mother, who had contracted Covid-19, before the war broke out. The children’s mother, Tetiana, 43, worked for a software company that had offices in California and had stayed near the fighting instead of evacuating earlier because she was trying to figure out how to help her own mother, who had Alzheimer’s (and who along with Ms. Perebyinis’ father was behind them when the mortar struck — but they survived).

The sub-headline of the first Times article reporting the attack read: “The attach in Irpin, west of the capital, suggested either direct targeting of evacuees or disregard for the risk of civilian casualties.” At the time, there was confusion and astonishment that such an attack on innocent people trying to escape conflict could occur.

But the Russians have attacked civilians countless times. The war has killed more than 12,300 civilians, and at least 650 children, according to the United Nations Deputy High Commisioner for Human Rights. Amnesty International has documented that Russian strikes in 2024 continued to injure and kill innocent Ukrainians.

Additionally, the Russians have damaged or destroyed more than 1,500 schools and colleges and 700 medical facilities.  When schools were reopened in Russian-controlled territories, Russia turned education into propaganda, changing the facts of history and trying to wipe out Ukrainian culture, as Amnesty International documented in a research briefing in December 2023.

These war crimes and violations of human rights are why I am especially committed as a child psychologist to standing up for Ukraine. And why it is dismaying beyond words that President Trump has taken multiple actions favorable to Russia.

These actions, summarized well in a recent article in The Guardian, include:

— Making a direct call to Russian President Vladimir Putin to start negotiating the end of the war, which left our ally Ukraine out of the process as it started.

— Berating Ukranian President Volodymyr Zelensky in the White House, telling him, among other things, “You’re not in a good position. You don’t have the cards right now.” (That is definitely taking sides; Russia in its war effort last year lost tens of thousands of lives to take an amount of land about the size of my home state of Rhode Island, a rate at which they would conquer Ukraine in 118 years).

— Verbally attacking our European allies in a Valentine’s Day speech by Vice President J.D. Vance. Mr. Vance argued that Europe was not threatened by Russia or China, but rather in part by its nations needing to be “more responsive to the voices of your citizens.” (This is hypocritical to say the least, as President Trump broke democratic norms by refusing to accept the well-documented fact that he lost the 2020 election, which he continues to lie about. Since ideally children can look up to national leaders as role models, it’s highly disturbing by itself that President Trump lies constantly).

The tilt toward Russia is not new; President Trump in his first term took the word of President Putin over US intelligence in saying Russia did not try to interfere in the 2016 presidential election.

What’s wrong with aligning with Russia and Vladimir Putin? As if starting an unjust war and killing civilians were not enough, Russia is an authoritarian state that takes repressive actions against its own citizens. In 2024 alone, according to Human Rights Watch:

— The main opposition leader to Mr. Putin, Alexei Navalny, 47, died in prison, at least in part due to being denied medical care and possibly due to being poisoned. He was jailed for doing nothing other than opposing Mr. Putin and documenting his extensive corruption in his kleptocracy in which corruption is rampant. Since the freedom to congregate is restricted in Russia, following his death, more than 500 people were detained at events commemorating him.

— A court sentenced Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich to 16 years in prison for espionage; while he was later freed in a prisoner swap, there were an estimated 783 other political prisoners.

— The Russian Supreme Court announced it had outlawed the international “LGBT” movement and authorities prosecuted Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender people or anyone supporting them (for example, for posting the rainbow flag online).

This is a very partial list; I encourage you to read it all. Does this sound like the kind of ally you want the United States to have?

I began this post with the story of children dying due to Russian attacks on innocent people at the beginning of the war. In case you think that was an early mistake that has been corrected, I’ll conclude with the story of a mother and her three daughters killed by a Russian attack of drones and missiles on the non-military town of Lviv on September 4, 2024.

The photograph below includes the only survivor of that attack, the family’s father. The oldest daughter, Daryna Bazylevych, wrote in her college application essay that her family was “the strongest pillar in my life and they help me overcome any obstacle.”

This horrendous story leads me to a question: Will you stand for Daryna?

A huge majority of Americans support Ukraine over Russia in the conflict started by Mr. Putin — 59% to 2%. This result came in a University of Maryland Critical Issues Poll (done with the respected nonpartisan Brookings Institution) taken after Mr. Trump’s infamous meeting with Mr. Zelensky in the White House and a few days after Trump suspended military aid to Ukraine. Only about a third of respondents favored the decision to halt aid, which has been reversed.

Given these numbers, standing for Daryna –standing for Ukraine and for its children — puts you in the majority. But being in the majority isn’t enough. We have to have our voices heard. If you will, please call or write your representative or senator, or the White House. Go to a vigil or protest. Tell the world you support Ukraine and you don’t want the United States normalizing relations or taking sides with a criminal, repressive, authoritarian state like Russia.